If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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