before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
