ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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