Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
