Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
