it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
