Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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