apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
