so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
