saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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