morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
