I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
