im drinking this country out of the recession.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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