If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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