M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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