Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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