All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You don't make any sense
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