Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
