Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
