i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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