Duck Duck Cougar?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
