We won't sleep together?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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