Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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