come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
