No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
