Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
