I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
