Midget sex pt 2 tonight
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sext me about skeletons
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
