the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
