im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
