Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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