Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
