i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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