One girl and one boy is just not enough.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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