on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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