Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
