Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
