That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
