she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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