it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
