You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Is it because I queefed?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
