This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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