To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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