I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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