i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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