so that wasnt chicken after all
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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