In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
