woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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