he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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