just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
