uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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